


no more blue songs, only new songs

by blueblueelectricblue



Series: rockets, bells, and poetry [1]
Category: The Good Place (TV)
Genre: Established Relationship, F/F, Non-Sexual Age Play
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-24
Updated: 2018-11-24
Packaged: 2019-08-28 20:59:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16730511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blueblueelectricblue/pseuds/blueblueelectricblue
Summary: This is how it starts - with a tequila-fueled game of Truth or Dare.





	no more blue songs, only new songs

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Wafflicious](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wafflicious/gifts).



It had all started with a game of truth or dare, played late at night in an atmosphere featuring little sobriety and even less good sense.

In hindsight, Eleanor isn’t sure what made her suggest the game, given that everyone else had left and she and Tahani really should have been in bed with a glass of water by then. But she’s never liked cutting short a good time, and Eleanor had been having a _fantastic_ one, so it’s probably as good a reason she can find as any other when she remembers this night later.

“You’ve done three dares in a row, Eleanor, now it’s time for a truth,” Tahani insisted – but sweetly, and how could Eleanor not oblige her?

“Okay. Ummm.” She had a hundred little secrets she could have chosen from, all of them relatively harmless (okay, except for the one about destroying a minor soap star’s career by sending in a fake tip to TMZ that later turned out to not be fake, which she still maintains was totally not her intent, how was she supposed to know she’d guessed right about his weird fish thing?) but somehow this was the one that came out of Eleanor’s mouth before she could stop herself. Tequila. She could blame it on that if she had to. They’d both been drinking too much of it. “Sometimes I like pretending to be a kid again.”

“And I’m supposed to know the difference how, exactly?” Tahani teased. “Because you’re already _so_ mature, you see.”

Eleanor scowled. “It’s not like, a _thing_ or anything. Just – sometimes, when I’m really unhappy, I put on a Disney movie and make a PB&J and wrap myself up in a blanket on the sofa and pretend like I’m a kid and I don’t know about all the bad stuff in the world or about how crappy my parents really are yet, just for an hour or whatever, and everything’s okay for that little bit of time.”

Tahani was quiet for so long that Eleanor had about three mini panic attacks in a row about it, but she finally answered with, “That actually sounds like one of your better coping mechanisms, Eleanor,” which, well, Eleanor could just about have fallen off the sofa at hearing, and not just because she’d consumed the better part of a bottle of Patrón.

“You don’t think it’s weird?” she asked.

Tahani shrugged. “No weirder than most coping mechanisms, and certainly not as self-destructive as some. And it isn’t hurting anyone else, right?”

“No. It’s just…most people seem to think it’s weird, unless they’re hardcore into it and have a custom-built crib or whatever, not that I’d know anything about that. Which is why I’ve, uh, never actually told anyone about this before.”

“Maybe it _is_ a little weird, but who am I to judge? My own sense of normalcy has been permanently skewed by my upbringing, as Chidi so elegantly put it earlier this evening.” Tahani smiled. “It sounds…nice, actually. An easy source of comfort.”

“Yeah, I guess it is.” Eleanor shrugged like it was no big deal (it was, oh, it really was) and then changed the subject. “Hey, it’s your turn, fancypants. Truth or dare?”

She’d hoped that Tahani would forget she ever said anything about it, or that she could blame it on the tequila if it was brought up again, but Tahani never gave Eleanor that chance. Oh, she had let the subject lie for a week or so, until Eleanor came back from Nevada. Just because she’d made her peace with her mother didn’t mean she couldn’t still resent the absolute ever-living _fuck_ out of Donna Shellstrop, because she really didn’t want to resent a little girl who doesn’t deserve that, even if she would never know. It isn’t _fair_ that Patricia gets a nice bedroom with brand-new furniture that matches instead of whatever could be found on the side of the road and tied to the roof of their beat-up Oldsmobile, and family dinners around an actual dining table and not in front of the television hooked up to illegal stolen cable, and all the attention she could ever want and then some more if that isn’t enough. Eleanor never got any of that, and now she never will, because her mother has a new family and a new life and there isn’t a whole lot of room left for Eleanor in that. She’s too old anyway.

She had yelled at Tahani because Tahani was there, and Eleanor knew it wasn't Tahani’s fault and she was just being shitty, and when Tahani walked out of the room without saying a word in response, Eleanor felt her spine turn into solid ice. She wanted to run after Tahani and tell her she’s sorry, she’s _so_ sorry, but she was frozen to the spot. All Eleanor could do was clench and unclench her fists about a million times, trying to make herself do something, _anything_.

By the time she had finally managed to get herself moving again – Eleanor was halfway to the front door and wondering where she’d flung her car keys this time – Tahani had returned with her arms full of Blu-Rays and what appeared to be the fuzzy chenille blanket from their guest room.

“Sit,” Tahani instructed her, pointing at the sofa, and Eleanor was amazed not to find the expression of anger she’d expected when she finally managed to look Tahani in the face.

“Tahani, I–“

“I said sit down, Eleanor.” But her smile was kind, and Eleanor felt even crappier than she already did. She didn’t deserve anyone being nice to her right now.

Eleanor sat down, though.

“I thought that perhaps this might help you relax,” Tahani explained, and held up the Blu-Ray boxes; Eleanor realized they were all Disney movies. “I’m afraid you’ll have to wait for the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, though, as I unfortunately can only be in one place at one time. Which movie would you like me to put in for you?”

“Uh.” Eleanor glanced up at the selection in front of her. “Little Mermaid?”

“Excellent choice. I haven’t seen it since Kamilah deconstructed the whole myth as part of Hans Christian Andersen’s bicentennial birthday celebrations. It was terribly dark and disconcerting. Her deconstruction, not this movie, that is. I’ve always liked it.” Tahani flashed her a brilliant smile before she dumped the blanket and other movies onto the sofa next to Eleanor so she could pop the disc into the player. Then, Tahani picked up the blanket again and started—

“Are you _tucking me in_?” Eleanor blurted out.

Tahani stopped. “Do you not want me to?”

“I just don’t…Tahani, I don’t _understand_.”

“Understand what, darling?”

“Why are you being so nice to me when I just acted like such a dillhole to you?” she asked. “And I’m sorry, by the way. I shouldn’t take my crappy mood out on you. It’s not your fault I’m in a crappy mood.”

“No, it isn’t my fault, and you shouldn’t have,” Tahani agreed. “But I accept your apology.”

Eleanor felt more relieved by that than she would ever have admitted out loud. Their relationship wasn’t new, exactly, but new enough that it could have all gone sideways just then. “I won’t do it again. Or, I’ll try not to do it again. And fail, probably. But I’ll still try.”

Tahani smiled. “At least you’re realistic about it, I suppose.”

“You still didn’t answer my question, though,” Eleanor said. “How come you’re being so nice? I mean, beyond normal girlfriend-nice.”

Tahani stopped fussing with the blanket and sat down next to Eleanor. “Anyone with half a working brain can tell you’ve been out of sorts since you got back from Nevada, Eleanor, and that you’re in need of some comfort and safety right now, which is why you lashed out in the first place. I rather wish you’d simply asked me for what you needed, but we both know that isn’t really your style. So I’m taking it upon myself to do something for you that I know helps you feel better.”

“I said it wasn’t a _thing_ , though,” she protested half-heartedly.

“Your internet search history says otherwise.” Tahani smirked, clearly unable to help herself.

“You were spying on me?”

“No, you just keep borrowing my iPad and forgetting to put on incognito mode.”

“Incog- _what_?”

“Never mind, Eleanor.”

“It’s weird, though,” Eleanor said, her voice cracking on “weird”.

Tahani shrugged. “Not if it makes you happy. And really, I could do with a bit of a snuggle and a fun movie too. Let’s give it a try, shall we?”

Eleanor dozed off with her head on Tahani’s shoulder right around the scene where the crab nearly fell into the French chef’s greedy clutches, so when she woke up later, Tahani started the movie over again.

“I didn’t want you to miss out,” was her explanation, and Eleanor worked her way into Tahani’s lap before the first act was over – something she hadn’t done in, well, ever, that she could remember. Her parents had not really been the kind who invited that. Eleanor wasn’t even sure at first that Tahani would let her, but Tahani put her arms around Eleanor’s waist and kept her close until the movie was finished and she wriggled her way out so she could get up and pee.

“Wow, I’m starving. Could I have that sandwich now?” Eleanor asked after she returned from the bathroom (she’d practically sprinted there; she’d had to go _so bad_ but didn’t want to get up during the movie). “Please?” she remembered to add, a little belatedly.

Tahani smiled. “Of course, darling. Crusts on or off?”

“Off.”

“Come along, then.” Tahani held her hand out to Eleanor.

Eleanor took it.

That peanut butter and jelly sandwich was the first that Tahani would ever make for her, but it certainly wouldn’t be the last one, and it was the best Eleanor had ever had.

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Cass Elliot's "I'm Coming To The Best Part Of My Life". Yes, there IS a theme!


End file.
